Wade Keller: Aging Queen

Dear Wade,

Hey bro. First off congrats on the kid and the whole coming out thing. Good on ya, man. Now, to business. I have watched on from a distance for the last several years as you have continued to slip further and further into irrelevancy. Your website looks as if it were put together by a couple of 18 year old ITT-Technical Institute students. Your stable of contributors has devolved into a list of dudes who are more than likely registered sex offenders. Do you still do a news letter? How's that working out for you? Is Pat McNeil as big of a douche in real life as he is on the internet? What about Caldwell? Anywho, look bro, we're in a recession. Things in the formerly lucrative grapz n00z world (lol) can't be going as great as they used to. You lived high on the hog for the last decade, but the boom days are done, son. Have you ever thought about life post-internet reporting/copying Dave? You have a child now, homie. You have a responsibility. Do you have a day job? Lemme guess, Orange Julius? Kinkos? You really ought to start thinking about the future.

If I may be so bold, allow me to make a suggestion: Vegan cooking show. It's money and you know it. You can even have your significant other join you! You can do a sort of Tim Taylor/Al Borland dynamic, only you guys are in love and have silly little disputes on air. I stand to gain zilch by offering you this advise. You have everything to gain. Think about it, dude. Think about it.