Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Our 1st Emails!


So I’m another dude at this blog, but I don’t want to do shit but I want to help out in some manner. I used to fuck around internet wrestle dork style but drifted away after I got skeeved out by too many weird ass wrestling fans. Not the for-real retarded kind with the photo albums of all the autographed Polaroids they bought over the years, but those weird standard wrestling dork guys that all look like child molesters that have successfully completed 9 out of 12 steps and no longer are tempted to molest children. But it’s in there somewhere still.
Anyways, I’m gonna be the 6.3.94 ombudsman, which means you send your stupid comments or questions or concerns or legitimate gripes or whatever to that email address in the sidebar (or 6.3.94.mailslot@gmail.com), and I’ll handle that serious business. I can’t answer trivia and bullshit like that, nor impress you with any super-level wrestling dork illuminati intricacies (I’m not Jewish, thus not in the wrestling academia super inner-circle), but I’ll do my best to take care of your bullshit, maybe like once a week, or maybe even less as I’ve got a pretty steady access to a hydrocodone prescription lately so tend to watch a lot of Mexican trash cinema from one of those super spectacular 500 movie sets of old dumb shit you can buy at finer tiendas when you stop in for a Coke made with real sugar.
We got two emails already... well, actually we got four, but two of them were fucking stupid. But here’s the first two I felt like bothering with...

Hey guys,
I LOVE YOUR BLOGI'm just writing you to show my appreciation and to
tell you to PLEASE keep it going for the long runin other words, don't let it
die off anytime soonalot of blogs start off strong, then lose steam- PLEASE
DON'T LOSE STEAMalso, I don't write but i'm a long time smart mark who was a
worker (not stating that to put myself over-just stating it that i was "in the
business") and was wondering what i would have to do to be a
writerthanx
salvatore wrx
Salvatore,
First off, most people who are hardcore wrestling fans (as in “watch a lot of wrestling,” not as in “Man, my favorite is when Zandig hits that girl with a running push mower and then Tammy Sytch pins her and gets blood all over her tits”) are concealing some sort of sexual deficiency, probably even from themselves, so that’s not such a great thing. Secondly, people who do blogs are self-important assholes. So what you have here at 6.3.94 is a combination of people with repressed sexual dysfunction, which means they are apt to flip out and disappear as they immerse themselves in some separate gay assed sub-culture (anime or comic books or fantasy baseball hall of fames). But then you factor in the self-important asshole aspect, which invariably leads to the bloggot feeling like the world doesn’t understand his genius so he switches his whole thing around completely, to show you how much you didn’t understand him and his better-than-everybody-else’s opinions, because you’ll miss him when he’s gone (called “going coooey”).
What I’m saying is that’s a bad combo and means this shit will just as likely disappear entirely in six months as it is to be the greatest daily wrestling filter the internet ever saw. Hard to say. Plus, most of the contributors I actually know personally are weedheaded slack asses, and you can’t really count on people like that for shit except not returning DVDs they borrow.
As for contributing, there’s a small tight circle of sort of in-charge types who are the braintrust behind this, I guess. And I’m not sure right now whether the philosophy is going to be “let everyone on earth contribute and we’ll just delete the shitty ones,” or if you should just send contributions to the email address I gave you and I’ll pass it along if you’re not retarded sounding and shit will pop off from there.
And thanx you,
tha 6.3.94 ombudsman

Hey,
regarding PS Hayes being racist and shit, I’ve known that dude for like
two decades and lemme tell you, he ain’t racist. I know internet faggots know it
all, but PS is a cool dude down to earth and you can’t roll in g.a. like he did
forever and be no racist ass dude. plus I know he’s done loved bunches of nigger
girls since we’ve been cool. I know its all fun and bullshit but I wanted to let
you know the real deal on PS cause he gets a bad rap.
J.T.R.
J.T.R.,
It’s cool man. Michael Hayes is one of the good ones so far as I’m concerned, and always will be.
Daps,
tha 6.3.94 ombudsman

1 comment:

  1. Chris Coey's Restraining OrderApril 21, 2009 at 2:19 AM

    God damn, a Coey dis. U crazy for dat one ombudsman

    ReplyDelete