Monday, April 13, 2009

Whitey finally gets his due

# # # # # # # # 6-3-94 NEWSWIRE # # # # # # # #
ROH Returns to the Glory Days!
Bland white guys capture tag gold

At the recent tapings for their television program for HDNet, which airs in “about six or seven U.S. households,” (source: Arbitron) the ROH tag team championship was liberated from the bondage of colorful gimmick sports entertainers Kevin Steen and El Generico.

El Generico (gimmick: he’s a skinny white guy from the whitest country on Earth who thinks he’s a brown luchador) and Kevin Steen (gimmick: he’s fat) “dropped the straps,” as their fanbase likes to say, to workrate masters Eddie Richards and Davey Edwards.

Pictured: The Champs (possibly)

“I’ve caught a lot of flak from the die hards about taking ROH in a different direction,” said ROH head writer Adam Pierce. “I’m hoping giving the championship to two guys who, while amazing workers, couldn’t be picked out of a police lineup, signals a return the product our fans know and love.” “In the great tradition of Chris Benoit, I feel that Steve Edwards and Brian Richards are incredible talents,” Pierce added, “and in addition to their awesome workrate, they are bland as fuck. I really envision great things for Trent Edwards and Mike Richards.”

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