It's been established here that Raw is pretty much worthless right now. I don't think dragging aging attention whore Ric Flair out of mothballs will help things. Can't Flair get his attention fix the same way every other soccer mom and nerdy douchebag out there does (Facebook)? Anyway, right around 9pm last night, I dialed up my DVR and watched The History Channel's excellent Life After People series. It was a mighty fine hour speculating what would happen to some cities if all human beings were suddenly wiped off the planet. There's probably a joke in there about how WWE would go on, since Vince McMahon isn't really a human being, but that's snarky, hacky humor and pretty weak, to boot. Oh hey, how about this:
SIX MONTHS AFTER PEOPLE:
MIKE SWEETSER'S PORN COLLECTION AND TRANSFORMERS DOLLS START TO DETERIORATE. WITHOUT SWEETSER AROUND TO LOVINGLY WIPE HIS SEMEN FROM THEM, HIS RANCID SMEGMA BEGINS TO BREAK DOWN THE PLASTIC AND METALS. NOT EVEN UNICRON CAN WITHSTAND THE CAUSTIC FURY OF MIKE SWEETSTER'S JISM.
So yeah, I didn't watch Raw at all. I'll probably fast forward to any possible good parts later this week and maybe that'll take 10 minutes. Or I'll just delete it, sight unseen after I pull up the DVR menu like on Thursday and see it sitting there. I wrote the headline to this story with the intent or reading the recap over at WOL and summarizing the show with some witty quips here and there, but FUCK. Just reading about the program that was is tedious. I give up. ECW is on tonight, and apparently Harry Smith, who is less of a fuckup than Reid Flair, wrestles Fit Finlay and that should be above average. I'd recommend checking that out. Also, go find the Youtube video that the picture on the left came from. It's an awesome, life-affirming story and a better expenditure of your time than Raw. There's more to life than arguing the number of stars Shawn Michaels vs Undertaker should get (for future reference, it's ****1/4).
So yeah, skip Raw, DVR Life After People and ECW, check out those ducks, and go read Total MMA by Jonathan Snowden. All are better than Raw. Gracias.